Hello Motivation! WHERE ARE YOU???!*#!

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OMG! I am so unmotivated!

Can’t seem to make up my mind on what and where to start!

I haven't painted that! I would love to be able topaint like this! It's just the photo software.

I haven’t painted that! I would love to be able to paint like this! It’s just the photo software and a pic of my messy table.

I made myself such a beautiful plan of tasks to reach goals , full of post-it papers  in all colours and precisely sorted.

And now I am stuck again!:-(
How to get motivated? I am even too unmotivated in doing nothing!!!

The sun is shining and it is warm outside, the best weather to go out in the parc and collect herbs.

My flat is a mess! In my sleeping room I have to move around piles of clean clothes,
I haven’t put in place yet and step around piles of clothes on the floor that I have to sort out.

My work space is full of piles of paper, empty bottles and dirty dishes, books, pens, full ashtray.

And tonight there is a party, I wanted to go to. Even this free time amusement IS STRESSING ME OUT!!!

 

I could just start with doing ONE thing, that will uplift me. But….

See, my bad mood is rising clouds outside! Maybe it will rain? So I cannot go and collect herbs today!!!
Yippie! task moved…procrastinated…to an unknown date…

ISN’T IT REALLY STRANGE THAT EVEN THE THINGS THAT ARE FUN TURN OUT TO  STRESS ME OUT???
AND THAT I CAN’T GET MOTIVATED EVEN FOR FUN THINGS???

messy_floor

And the other thing is: I actually know how to help myself, I could burn some incense, get some essential oils that will get me motivated, but WTF!!!
I am especially unmotivated in helping myself!

Days like this….
I will leave you and me here without any solution, no advice…just an unmotivated mood!

Hey see, I actually got motivated to write this post, at least! Hurray???

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Improved And Confused: An ADD Work Life Day Story

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Yeah I  have done so much today! 🙂

I had a work date real late at 7 pm and needed to prepare a lot before that.

I researched accupuncture points and herbs for recipes for a specific condition.
Not that I havent done that several times, but where did I write that down??? I lost the papers or cant find them. Also every case is different, so I need to do research anyway.

A quick sketch of WHAT A MESS! (c) thefemmeaddon

A quick sketch of WHAT A MESS! (c) thefemmeaddon

But this time I actually did the research AND wrote it down on my computer so at least it is saved on the disc. Improve! Improve! 🙂

Then I felt so professional, when I called up a homeopathic company, to ask them about a specific remedy they make and if it suits to my client needs.

I say I felt professional, cuz it reminded me so much of games, that I used to play when I was a kid.

I had this kids post-office game with different forms, stamps and postage stamps and I loved to get everything sorted,  stamp it, write  and fill out the forms.
Yeah the kid forms to fill out, were easy and fun!:)
…not like the complicated adult forms, where You dont know what they want from You and where- in some cases- you have to be so specific and correct that if you make a mistake you pay a fee or go to jail / hell!!! 😦
I mean, no wonder so many people hate paper work if what you write can have a huge/ scary consequence!

I also loved to play something like a secretary or manager, where I would make  calls, arrange things and dates, order stuff….
Of course I didnt have to check my finances for ordering. Of course none of my calls were real…I talked to an imaginary person.
Of course none of the dates I arranged, I had actually to go to!
That was fun!!!:-)

It is often said, that ADDers should make a game of their tasks. Today  at least the call felt like a game and was fun. Afterwards.
Wanna know how my day went on? Continue reading

Bachflowers for raw emotions: Don’t piss in my garden and how to find a smartphone…

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….about the feeling of competition and the guilt never to do enough for my business.

Angry Sphynx

Angry Sphynx (Photo credit: Wikipedia,User:Trilobite2)

Yesterday I went with a good friend to our beloved coffee-place and when I was about to leave, I saw these flyers hanging at the wall: From a woman who does walks on the wild-side and teaches about wild growing medical plants, herbal walks, something that I offered in the past many times in this area.
Well, her walks and Herbal Medicine courses are in another area of town, but hey! I felt angry of her putting flyers in MY area! How stupid is this? I mean, MY reaction?!!! There are so many people who do  the same work as I do and I know that and knew that before, that I am not the only one! (this is soo BachFlower WATER VIOLET, for the feeling of being better than others)
Still, I felt like a cat who is furious that some other cat marked HER place. Not that this area belongs to me, its a public space, but still….. (Bachflower HOLLY for anger and jealousy, WILLOW for complaining about others and blaming others).

So, I tried to calm myself  (WHITE CHESTNUT to calm down the mind and let go) and think about what really makes me angry. And that is, that I always thought about starting and offering new Workshops and courses, making flyers to hang out in different places, well, many many plans and ideas,… BUT no actual results! No Flyers, no new dates for worshops, walks and courses, nothing really that I have finished. ( Bachflower WILD OAT for many ideas and not finishing projects) .
So there is NO need to be angry about anyone just about me! What a sh****! So feeling  guilty doesn’t help (maybe I should take some Bach Flower PINE against all that guilty feeling) and having ADHD doesn’t help either  for accomplishing and finishing things (and NO excuse ) and my anger and stupid competition feeling isn’t really the best motivation (HOLLY again).

Not that I haven’t already started yesterday, before I went out, to put up a seminar for Bach Flowers and was very happy about me working on my business stuff. Instead of enjoying my happiness and work I’ve done, I got so irritated by these flyers from somebody else! ( WALNUT for irritations when starting new things, CENTAURY for general irritation by others).

And than,  instead of working I procrastinate on the wwweb, while I am trying to find a smartphone that isn`t too expensive, so I can write directly from the coffee-place and everywhere else in my blog! 😉 But then, it s so hard to decide on the right one! I already know that I dont want “the fruit thing” brand, it’s too expensive and I do prefer papayas and mangos. 🙂 Continue reading

another reason for moving to WP from tumblr

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So here s the other reason I moved to WP, cuz here I can put up pages and categorize them.

viola

I just had the idea recently to put information on the Web about alternative help for ADDers/ ADHDers. I wanna post some information about natural treatment/ self-helf with herbs, essential oils and Bach Flower remedies,etc.  for all those who seek alternative treatment/ support without synthetic medication or wanna take some natural remedies with their meds.

Well anyway it is

my profession, I do work as self-employed naturopath with medical plants and Japanese Acupuncture, but apart from that I am really excited to share my knowledge with other ADD folks out there. 🙂

I am planning to post articles about specific herbs that can help you to focus, help you to sleep, calms you down or gives you more energy, and so on….

So there s a lot to do! Still have to find the right theme, where the letters are not that small! And putting everything in here, so yeah! another big exciting project…not that I have completed the other “hundreds” projects I am on, but hey lets keep life exciting!!! and busy! 😉

I need to clean the bathroom…

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…but before that I will just have a smoke on the balcony, the sun is shining so nice 🙂 Oh and as I sit here, I might as well write done some ideas about organising myself. Or hey, why not write a blog about ADD?

I recently found out / suggest / be pretty sure about having Adult ADD.
My partner gave me a hint several times, I did not notice her “hints” at all. When? Where? Last time she told me twice straight ahead: ” Oh You have ADD!”

First of course denial ~ I am not that hyperactive, more active in my mind than jumping around, I was good in Elementary school… Well the common misunderstandings of ADD and especially Adult ADD and Women with ADD. The most frequent picture we get in TV and reports about AD/HD is a little screaming and running around boy. Stereotypes. And mostly not nice! ( The poor parents… irony).

So I spend a whole night on the internet, reading about symptoms, stories, diagnosis criteria, different forms of AD/HD. Ups!

That is ME!!!

Disorganised? Totally! Always!
…wandering mind…drifting…
can hear noises & gets all conversations in a crowded place…
Talkative with others- A Lot!!!
Interrupting and impatient…uhhh, yes….
In fact I always “blamed” that on my greek mediterranean heritage…

Or not meeting anyone at all.
Suffering from misunderstandings.
Hard time having  “real friends”.
Beeing so overwhelmed, nervous all tiime, busy with thoughts, distracted, veeeryyy sensitive, easy to hurt.

Difficulties keeping up the contact with friends.
I just dont contact them often and regulary enough ~ calling, sms, mail: I am so bad with that.

But hey! ” I thought of You a lot!:)”
And hey! Calling my friends is on my To-Do-List!
There it stands on that piles of papers on my desk:

TO-DO-LIST :
call xyz
get a shower, wash hair
do the dishes
get prepared for work appointment, dont forget to take this and that
meeting  xys on 8 o`clock
Cook food

Yeah, but now I got distracted/ drifted away again, from what I wanted to write actually. That will be my next post:

The 15-minute-timer or In search for an ADD-coaching book.
Btw: I really did clean the bath, after writing!  well done Me! :-))