Hello Motivation! WHERE ARE YOU???!*#!

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OMG! I am so unmotivated!

Can’t seem to make up my mind on what and where to start!

I haven't painted that! I would love to be able topaint like this! It's just the photo software.

I haven’t painted that! I would love to be able to paint like this! It’s just the photo software and a pic of my messy table.

I made myself such a beautiful plan of tasks to reach goals , full of post-it papers  in all colours and precisely sorted.

And now I am stuck again!:-(
How to get motivated? I am even too unmotivated in doing nothing!!!

The sun is shining and it is warm outside, the best weather to go out in the parc and collect herbs.

My flat is a mess! In my sleeping room I have to move around piles of clean clothes,
I haven’t put in place yet and step around piles of clothes on the floor that I have to sort out.

My work space is full of piles of paper, empty bottles and dirty dishes, books, pens, full ashtray.

And tonight there is a party, I wanted to go to. Even this free time amusement IS STRESSING ME OUT!!!

 

I could just start with doing ONE thing, that will uplift me. But….

See, my bad mood is rising clouds outside! Maybe it will rain? So I cannot go and collect herbs today!!!
Yippie! task moved…procrastinated…to an unknown date…

ISN’T IT REALLY STRANGE THAT EVEN THE THINGS THAT ARE FUN TURN OUT TO  STRESS ME OUT???
AND THAT I CAN’T GET MOTIVATED EVEN FOR FUN THINGS???

messy_floor

And the other thing is: I actually know how to help myself, I could burn some incense, get some essential oils that will get me motivated, but WTF!!!
I am especially unmotivated in helping myself!

Days like this….
I will leave you and me here without any solution, no advice…just an unmotivated mood!

Hey see, I actually got motivated to write this post, at least! Hurray???

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An outburst of ADD symptoms … while trying to write an Article… Self-help required!

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I am trying to write this article about Essential Oils for focusing, concentration and accomplishing tasks.
And guess what? Almost all my ADD symptoms decided to gather and make the realisation of my project impossible or at least very very difficult.

So here is what goes on:
I have many many ideas and information about the topic. While all these ideas and information are having a crazy dancing party in my head, I try to bring them into a structure, to write them down.

Unfocused (c) theFemmeADDon

Unfocused (c) theFemmeADDon

Then there are all these ideas HOW to write the information down: with a little story, with examples, just straight forward in a list, …? I am having a real hard time to decide and straight is anyway impossible for me. 😉

I need several approaches and started writing online to save them as drafts, gather more information and write it on paper, try to structure the information into topics and write more on paper; get frustracted and procrastinate and play online games and spider solitaire over and over.

I try again, with the actual help of Essential oils and use a blend of Rosemary and Lemon for concentrating, just to realize that I start getting very nervous…( and the dancing party in my brain, goes on dancing even harder).

I start to realize I am not grounded at all, I am high up in the air and I remember I haven’t  eaten yet. Well ok. Lets have something to eat, cuz eating also helps with structure an calming down. And I put away my essential oils blend and decide to use a mixture with Cypress ( for decision making and accomplishing tasks), Juniper against nervousness and a little bit of Ho-Leaves for inspiration and calming down.

And maybe I should stop drinking coffee for now, too?  🙂
Maybe I should go out for a walk and take a break to clear my head?

I really dont know what is going on… Months ago I decided on this article and the longer I think about it, the more difficult it gets. Probably the longer I wait, the more  perfect I wanna make it– something that is impossible to reach, so of course I cannot write it down.
On the other hand, it feels like when I was studying medicine and had to learn about all these illnesses. Getting deeper into a topic and being hypersensitive, too, I started developing or better imagine symptoms on myself.

So this time I develop all the symptoms of the issues I wanna write about?
Scattered, unfocused, undecissive, nervous, not able to realise my ideas and finish a task, totally unstructured,
…!?

Well, I am eating my bread now that nearly got burned cuz I forgot it in the oven  and I will try to   start all over again  and eventually write this article. 🙂

Bachflowers for raw emotions: Don’t piss in my garden and how to find a smartphone…

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….about the feeling of competition and the guilt never to do enough for my business.

Angry Sphynx

Angry Sphynx (Photo credit: Wikipedia,User:Trilobite2)

Yesterday I went with a good friend to our beloved coffee-place and when I was about to leave, I saw these flyers hanging at the wall: From a woman who does walks on the wild-side and teaches about wild growing medical plants, herbal walks, something that I offered in the past many times in this area.
Well, her walks and Herbal Medicine courses are in another area of town, but hey! I felt angry of her putting flyers in MY area! How stupid is this? I mean, MY reaction?!!! There are so many people who do  the same work as I do and I know that and knew that before, that I am not the only one! (this is soo BachFlower WATER VIOLET, for the feeling of being better than others)
Still, I felt like a cat who is furious that some other cat marked HER place. Not that this area belongs to me, its a public space, but still….. (Bachflower HOLLY for anger and jealousy, WILLOW for complaining about others and blaming others).

So, I tried to calm myself  (WHITE CHESTNUT to calm down the mind and let go) and think about what really makes me angry. And that is, that I always thought about starting and offering new Workshops and courses, making flyers to hang out in different places, well, many many plans and ideas,… BUT no actual results! No Flyers, no new dates for worshops, walks and courses, nothing really that I have finished. ( Bachflower WILD OAT for many ideas and not finishing projects) .
So there is NO need to be angry about anyone just about me! What a sh****! So feeling  guilty doesn’t help (maybe I should take some Bach Flower PINE against all that guilty feeling) and having ADHD doesn’t help either  for accomplishing and finishing things (and NO excuse ) and my anger and stupid competition feeling isn’t really the best motivation (HOLLY again).

Not that I haven’t already started yesterday, before I went out, to put up a seminar for Bach Flowers and was very happy about me working on my business stuff. Instead of enjoying my happiness and work I’ve done, I got so irritated by these flyers from somebody else! ( WALNUT for irritations when starting new things, CENTAURY for general irritation by others).

And than,  instead of working I procrastinate on the wwweb, while I am trying to find a smartphone that isn`t too expensive, so I can write directly from the coffee-place and everywhere else in my blog! 😉 But then, it s so hard to decide on the right one! I already know that I dont want “the fruit thing” brand, it’s too expensive and I do prefer papayas and mangos. 🙂 Continue reading

another reason for moving to WP from tumblr

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So here s the other reason I moved to WP, cuz here I can put up pages and categorize them.

viola

I just had the idea recently to put information on the Web about alternative help for ADDers/ ADHDers. I wanna post some information about natural treatment/ self-helf with herbs, essential oils and Bach Flower remedies,etc.  for all those who seek alternative treatment/ support without synthetic medication or wanna take some natural remedies with their meds.

Well anyway it is

my profession, I do work as self-employed naturopath with medical plants and Japanese Acupuncture, but apart from that I am really excited to share my knowledge with other ADD folks out there. 🙂

I am planning to post articles about specific herbs that can help you to focus, help you to sleep, calms you down or gives you more energy, and so on….

So there s a lot to do! Still have to find the right theme, where the letters are not that small! And putting everything in here, so yeah! another big exciting project…not that I have completed the other “hundreds” projects I am on, but hey lets keep life exciting!!! and busy! 😉