A song for You to enjoy: BJÖRK

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I have been listening to Björk for days again, I love her music and expression. I really truly admire her. For her way to know how to express herself/ her ideas/ her art and being able to follow through, produce and giving us this incredible gift, which is her music.

Enjoy!

Btw: The video is not official from Björk but fanmade. It is quite disturbing, but I like it.

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How Pressure, Finances And Deadlines Make Me Suddenly Work With ADHD

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Wow!

It has been ages since I wrote in my blog.

This was a crazy busy year with severe health issues in my family, suddenly finding myself close again to my parents and having to take care of them. I might tell You some other time about the stress, emotional conflict and overwhelm , this sudden caretaking caused.

Having to leave  my hometown so often , my business was running very low or better say crawling and actually resting!
That caused several financial panic attacks: In summer I was so broke I had no idea how to buy food for me and my cat. Of course the cat got sick, too and had to go to the Vet, which sure I did but therefor even had less money. Useless to say, that my bank account was on the maximum line of credit.

However this ADD mind of mine works, I
1. Procrastinated earning some money and remained in a state of panic
2. Finally, under extreme financial pressure, I started to write job applications for all kind of jobs that I was not   really interested in – I love being self-employed!
3. Eventually I wrote applications for 2 schools to work as a teacher for Aromatherapy – Yes! I actually wanted to apply there long-time!
4. Recherched and checked out ways how to pay less for health insurance and wrote several letters to my insurance to pay less and get some money back from years before, something that was on my to-do-list for long, too.

 Momentary Happy-end: 🙂

1. I now pay less for health insurance and even got some money back.
2. I am still self-employed! 🙂
3. I rented out part of my practice space- another thing I wanted to do for a year now! So that saves me some money each month.
4. I got both jobs as a docent for Aromatherapy! Hurray! :-))
Happily  one of them already started in September and the next part of the lecture is next week. …well yes, i am procrastinating or not prioritizing right now, as i should either prepare my lecture or go to bed! Anything BUT  writing in my Blog! well, well, …
5. A friend of mine asked me to give a paid!!! Workshop on Bodylanguage and Massage. Which I did last weekend.

The  result:

After having less money then none at all I have some o.k. money for now.

After having no paid work for a long time I have to give two 4 day – lectures on Aromatherapy in a school in my town and two 8 hour workshops in Berlin. All of that in 2 months…including preparing the lectures!

Which means: Stress! Excitement! Stress! Panic, too! Excitement! Work!

And look at me:
Suddenly I am there, preparing everything in short time, being structured and working.
Suddenly I am doing and arranging things that have been sitting untouched on my to-do-list for ages.

What is this?

I have to admit I only work under extreme pressure.

I am actually a bit  ashamed to say that. Even though I know how I work or how my brain works.
I mean, I had A LOT of work!
I was really afraid and panicking I won’t be able to prepare the Aromatherapy course in time. Especially after i had to follow a given and broadly defined lecture plan, having no idea what they were actually asking for.
I had very LITLLE TIME for preparation!
Every job was and is in a short time. One after the other.

This is how my brain works.
I hope my heart can cope with this panic and extreme rhythm, too.
Panic and Stress means Adrenalin and Dopamin.
And that makes me run and work and structure myself like I could not do before! Continue reading

Happy New Year!

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As the last hours of this year past, I wish everyone all the best, a happy and healthy New Year.

Have lots of fun, enjoy your life, don’t be too hard on yourself, and I wish everyone to fulfill their wishes.

Big THANK YOU for reading my blog and commenting.

And a good blog on! for all the other bloggers. ❤

Yeah! 🙂

thefemmeaddon

primrose

primrose .  scan and photoshop(c) thefemmeaddon

The Curse Of Perfectionism And The Hyperactive Brain

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It is almost 4 a.m. and I am still not in bed. Listening to an amazing music mix from this site .
I am thinking about perfectionism. These days I am all over the place, doing all kind of things and they leave me frustrated cuz nothing seems good enough.

On the one hand good- I am creating stuff, I have tons of ideas– nothing business related- just creativity for my satisfaction.
I am painting, sewing, scetching, colouring, doing wood works, writing and everything all together , chaotic- one day this, the other day or minute that. And while I am doing one thing, my mind already jumps to the next new ideas. Rollercoaster of thoughts.
On the other hand, because of my restlessness , in my hyper- state I want to do everything at once, realize my ideas- NOW!
And it feels like I don’t have the time to dig into the matter and become better. Which ends up, me doing a bit here and  a bit there. Or maybe I actually have the time and don’t allow myself to stay focused on one thing? Or can’t?

Perfectionism – Learning- Impatience – Restlessness – Self Esteem – Trust

One problem  is perfectionism.
I don’t remember when I became so perfectionistic. Continue reading

Procrastinating Super Woman

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In between or better say instead of doing work related things, I started a comic-sketch-painting series  of  “Procrastinating Super Woman”.
A busy grrrl having much to do, so no time (yet) for saving the world!
I was curious about illustration and as I already started experiencing with  watercolor, I thought I’ll give it a try.
Have fun! 🙂

Procrastinating Super Woman, Watercolor pastels and Ink pen (c) thefemmeaddon

Procrastinating Super Woman, Watercolor pastels and Ink pen (c) thefemmeaddon

How to choose and use essential oils

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Finally! As long promised I wrote an article full of information to help You to use and choose essential oils.

CHOOSING

The best way to choose Your essential oil is, to smell it.

The characteristics of an essential oil are summoned in its scent.

The scent should be pleasant to You.

Scents have a direct stimulus on our brain.
If You dislike a scent, it can have a negative stimulus to Your brain and might have a negative effect on You or one that You don`t wish to have. An unpleasant scent can be a  constant unpleasant stimulus to Your brain and therefor turn out to be negative stress.

There might be some organic store or herbal store close to where You live, where You can smell the oil before You buy it.  Some shops have test bottles.

 

If  You don`t have the possibility to smell the essential oil before you buy it, You can choose Your essential oil by

  • its EFFECT
  • its familiar smell because You know the original plant
  • Scent descriptions from different resources
  • Preferences: WHAT DO YOU LIKE/ DISLIKE? e.g. fresh scent, bloomy/flowery scent, wooden/green/conifer scent,  earthy scent, heavy, light, sweet, lemonlike, ….
  • Buy only SMALL AMOUNTS  if You are unsure that You will  like it.

Read more here.

Hello Motivation! WHERE ARE YOU???!*#!

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OMG! I am so unmotivated!

Can’t seem to make up my mind on what and where to start!

I haven't painted that! I would love to be able topaint like this! It's just the photo software.

I haven’t painted that! I would love to be able to paint like this! It’s just the photo software and a pic of my messy table.

I made myself such a beautiful plan of tasks to reach goals , full of post-it papers  in all colours and precisely sorted.

And now I am stuck again!:-(
How to get motivated? I am even too unmotivated in doing nothing!!!

The sun is shining and it is warm outside, the best weather to go out in the parc and collect herbs.

My flat is a mess! In my sleeping room I have to move around piles of clean clothes,
I haven’t put in place yet and step around piles of clothes on the floor that I have to sort out.

My work space is full of piles of paper, empty bottles and dirty dishes, books, pens, full ashtray.

And tonight there is a party, I wanted to go to. Even this free time amusement IS STRESSING ME OUT!!!

 

I could just start with doing ONE thing, that will uplift me. But….

See, my bad mood is rising clouds outside! Maybe it will rain? So I cannot go and collect herbs today!!!
Yippie! task moved…procrastinated…to an unknown date…

ISN’T IT REALLY STRANGE THAT EVEN THE THINGS THAT ARE FUN TURN OUT TO  STRESS ME OUT???
AND THAT I CAN’T GET MOTIVATED EVEN FOR FUN THINGS???

messy_floor

And the other thing is: I actually know how to help myself, I could burn some incense, get some essential oils that will get me motivated, but WTF!!!
I am especially unmotivated in helping myself!

Days like this….
I will leave you and me here without any solution, no advice…just an unmotivated mood!

Hey see, I actually got motivated to write this post, at least! Hurray???